As promised, folks.... some DIGIMANSSSS!!1

Seriously, a large portion of my childhood (and most likely many of yours) was consumed by the memorization and classification of Digital Monsters. You fiercely defended the franchize when it was condescendingly refered to as 'a Pokemon rip-off', and, to this day, can somehow remember that Gatomon's rookie form is Salamon, who is mysteriously a puppy dog.

So, here are some Digis. From left to right(ish), we have:

Agumon. Agumon spoke like a castrati who had suffered a head injury, but he was still a fire-spitting dinosaur who transformed into a bigger fire-spitting dinosaur (and so on), so things weren't all bad. But good god, what a voice.

Gatomon. A favorite of many, mainly due to her general badassery. When a purple kitten is your most badass character, it is hard to decide whether you should admit defeat or success. Anyway, she was pretty much the coolest, and even transformed into a disturbingly sexy Digi-super model.

Koromon. A wee Agumon. When I was ten, I would have dreams about being a Koromon. Dream big.

Palmon. A plant... thing. I enjoyed the flakieness, and the fact that she turned into a GIANT FUCKING CACTUS. It was just a jarring contrast. She always seemed like she was secretly a huge bitch, though.

Renamon. The digimon that, for soooome reason or another, the largest percentage of fanboys want to screw. Seriously, when Google suggests you might want to search for 'Renamon Yiff' as a first choice, you know you are entering dangerous territory. Poor Renamon. At least she's a hardcore warrior lady. Er, digimon. She's a DIGIMON. Not even, like, Ladydevimon-Mc-hugeboobs. She's a fox. Frick.

Patamon. I loved Patamon. Well, I loved him for the ear-born flight. I loved him for the fact that he produced much 'bunny or bat?' controversy. Mostly, I like how he transformed into Jesusmon or something mildly sacrilegious.

Gabumon. Most alarming about this fellow is the Wikipedia revelation that ' his back is covered in a dog-like blue fur pelt from a young Garurumon.' Now, does this mean that he has to kill a young Garurumon before being deemed fit to digivolve? Is this a survival-of-the-fittest sort of thing? Is this in the league with Cubone, pokemon-who-wears-the-skull-of-its-dead-mother type pokemon? If Gabumon turns into Garurumon... oh fuck, I'll leave it alone.

Terriermon. I watched the Digimon Movie 4 times in one weekend when I was 12. It may happen again some day. Anyway, Terriermon is awesome.

Gomamon. He was one of my favorites. What a snarky little bugger, and with a mohawk, too. Maybe I liked him so much because Joe was such a great character, and they bickered like an old married couple. Maybe I liked him so much because, like Aquaman, his power involved chucking live fish at people, and he was pretty damn useless out of a water setting. That's why he's always smiling; he's hiding the feelings of inadequacy.

Wormmon. Ken was a great character. As dark and complex as a show like Digimon could allow, really. Plus, his haircut made me swoon over similarly-coifed lads for most of my junior high years. Ahem. Oh, and wormmon was cool, I guess.

Biyomon. Why didn't Biyomon ever snap and eat Tentomon? Especially when she turned into the bigass fire bird. I feel bigass-firebird would love to eat a big.


Well, that's about it. A few well-wasted hours, and some damn good stress relief. Whenever life is hectic, take some time to draw out nostalgia. You'll feel at least 10 times better.

Er... PRODIGIOUS!